From Aix to Ghent, or Vice Versa

How I brought the good news from Aix to Ghent or Vice Versa
by W C Sellar & R J Yeatman (from Horse Nonsense) 1933

 I sprang to the rollocks and Jorrocks and me,
And I galloped, you galloped, we galloped all three.
Not a word to each other: we kept changing place,
Neck to neck, back to front, ear to ear, face to face:

And we yelled once or twice, when we heard a clock chime,
“Would you kindly oblige us, is that the right time?”
As I galloped, you galloped, he galloped, we galloped,
ye galloped, they two shall have galloped: let us trot.

I unsaddled the saddle, unbuckled the bit,
Unshackled the bridle (the thing didn’t fit)
And ungalloped, ungalloped, ungalloped, ungalloped a bit.

Then I cast off my buff coat, let my bowler hat fall,
Took off both my boots and my trousers and all –
Drank off my stirrup-cup, felt a bit tight,
And unbridled the saddle: it still wasn’t right.

Then all I remember is, things reeling round,
As I sat with my head ‘twixt my ears on the ground –
For imagine my shame when they asked what I meant
And I had to confess that I’d been, gone and went

And forgotten the news I was bringing to Ghent,
Though I’d galloped and galloped and galloped and galloped and galloped
And galloped and galloped and galloped. (Had I not would have been galloped?)

ENVOI
So I sprang to a taxi and shouted “To Aix!”
And he blew on his horn and he threw off his brakes.
And all the way back till my money was spent
We rattled and rattled and rattled and rattled and rattled and rattled and rattled –

And eventually sent a telegram.